Ambitions and occupations

imagewhat drinks away your soul and rips away your bones and stabs you a dozen times but you can’t help but hold so tightly  in your arms. Dreams yup that’s what they are nightmares. It seems so easy to come forward and say hey I love a certain thing let’s say, music for example. “I shall become a musician” and you strive so hard but suddenly you see a injured cat and jumped to the idea of “vet it shall be its destiny calling” What are interests? What is passion? When is it time to call it quits and just give up because you might have found it too late? What are your actual dreams and aspirations?

Finding a job is as hard as finding true love. You seem to think it’s the one it is “meant to be” but honestly time shows you that you pulled yourself into a hurricane that is far too overwhelming and suffocating. I have a million things I like and I can’t come to chose one as my occupation. One day I’m a aspiring composer the next I’m a scriptwriter. It changes ALOT. And no mater how much you push away the pain of thinking too much it either consumes you when trying to empty your he’d before bed or through the pressure of school and parents constantly questioning your aspirations.

But interests are seemingly easier…you love many things and don’t necessarily have to chose. So as a kid I personally think don’t worry too much about you job. How about simply silencing the loud torture that is school and home by replying “idk or if you must something that may satisfy them …like teacher or architect(my escape code HAHA) find what you love and remember it’s NEVER too late  to love something and live it! I like to write and I’m moderately alright at it I like art and I’m kinda gd at it but music which I seem to love *coughs* I fail at it. It seems that I should give up… It’s embarrassing to tell people I want to learn music in the future when I’m so awful but that’s not true. I have an odd personality which drives me to love something simply because I’m good at it or people praise me for it. Drives by the desire to meet expectations I love those things people want me to be good at. Worse part is I didn’t even know I was like this until recently when I decided to change. But now I realize that it’s ok to suck so bad and your dreams:)!

anyways my delayed New Years resolution:

-lose them fats BAHAHAHHAA

-grow out my hair ✌🏼️

-improve at piano and compose a few pieces for fun

-develop more art skills

-get better at studies AIM IS ALL A’s you can do this! Hwaiting!

That’s it for today!:)what are your goals?

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